I returned from my journey, and found myself lost, sitting in the rain again. It felt as if I had glass shards in my heart, and they were shredding my soul to pieces…
The first post…
When I started my blog on Virtuosity, I was looking for home, again. The problem with virtual communities, at least the ones that I have been a part of, is that they very transient. They change over time, and if you leave and come back, depending on how long you have been away, you can lose complete touch with the people that are still there. You end up on the outside again. My Virtuosity blog was a way for me to process being an outsider to a community that had once been very much a part of me.
Now, two years later, I can say that although I still am in Second Life (SL), it is nowhere near a part of me as it was in the past. I have made many great friends and connections in SL, but my time is limited online, due to school. It is not enough time to foster the deep, meaningful connections that one needs to feel that they are a part of a community. I miss that. However, SL has also taught me to readjust my priorities, as well. Sometimes distractions are very good at reminding you about what is most pressing – and right now, that would still be my graduate school studies, and getting through my program. The great thing though, is that I have found a lot of people in my virtual world that support me – they have been my motivation, and I don’t think I would have gotten this far without their help and support!
Where is Virtuosity, now?
Anyways, this blog isn’t completely about SL. It’s not completely about grad school, either. I think, if I averaged all my posts together, this blog is now about the intersecting spaces between worlds – the worlds of virtual and physical, fiction and non-fiction, the philosophical and the material. It’s also about those intersecting spaces between being one person, and being another – and filling the gaps with writing about the experience. I find that writing is a very liberating activity that breaks boundaries and deconstructs what we know. It brings forth the impossible, and makes dreams a tangible reality – we dare to be bizarre, fantastic, and bigger than ourselves – and choose later whether we want to grow into it. Writing is freedom.
Why I write this blog
I write because I am mad. There are these thoughts and ideas that constantly swirl in my head begging to be freed, and they haunt me. I was born to create things – painting, drawing, sketching, writing… it’s an instinctive drive that is as automatic as breathing – and just as uncomfortable when I stop doing it.
When I was a freshman, I took an English Composition class, and my professor told me that I should be a writer. However, we are taught by society to not pursue frivolous things; and so, I became a biologist instead. Years later, I am paying penance for my career choice by serving my time in graduate school – and blogs are part of my atonement. I have not fulfilled my destiny, but I am taking the steps to do so.
My writing, all of it, is in service of changing the world. You see, all of us, every single person, is a part of this world. When I write, the act of writing changes me. It changes how I think, how I feel, and sometimes, even what I do next. See? I’ve already started changing the world by changing myself, right? Then, if someone reads my blog, and it changes them? Even a tiny bit – even if it simply gets them thinking (whether or not they agree with me isn’t the important piece), then I’ve succeeded in making an even bigger change. That’s how it starts. It is how things have always started – with the first step, followed by the next, and one after and after. Pretty soon, we find ourselves in a very different place from where we have started.
I started this blog to figure out where I belonged. As I’ve continued this journey, I have found that where I belong is in those gaps between spaces, where words become worlds.
Welcome to my world. Please, make yourself comfortable.
Thank you for visiting, and I hope you stay for a while!