A Change of View
This post started out on a daily prompt, which was entitled, “Can’t stand me.” It had me thinking about the things I can’t stand about myself. However, when I thought more about the prompt, it made me realize that I am acutely aware of the the things that I cannot stand about myself, and I have either fixed them, or am addressing them.
For example, in the prompt, it asked about what you disliked more: seeing oneself in a video, or hearing oneself in an audio. Quite honestly, I dislike both rather equally. However, with online teaching, it is only natural that you have to make recordings of yourself in both video and audio. At first, I was very self-conscious of this, because whenever people hear me speak for the first time, especially online, I always get a comment about my voice. Apparently, my voice is very distinctive. Also, whenever I see myself in videos, I notice little odd quirks that I’ve picked up – like, when I lecture, I have a little hop that I do when I’m walking around.
In typical INTJ fashion, my initial reaction was to try and fix what I didn’t like. However, I can’t change my voice without sounding fake, and my weird birdie hop is simply me, curbing my high energy output and enthusiasm when I teach. I did end up fixing what I disliked about both of these things, but not in the way that most people would think.
I fixed how I looked at the problem. Meaning, yes, my voice is still very distinctive (and I still get comments about it), and I still do that little hop when I teach, but it stopped bothering me that I did them. Why? Because I realized that what mattered was that I got my message across. If people were only focused on the sound of my voice, or how I delivered my lessons, then it meant that what I had to say had less meaning than how I said it. I changed how I saw myself – or more like, I changed what I saw.
Instead, I focused more on the things that I could change, and what was most important – my perception, and my message. So now, when I look at myself giving audio or video, I ask:
- Is my message clear?
- Is it important?
- Is it applicable?
If I can say yes to all those things? Then I’ve done my job. ^.^
Virtuosity 11.11 
I’m also an educator and have had to accept my voice and mannerisms – they’re me and they’re not going to go away. As an early career academic I feel quite a bit of pressure to promote myself online; so not only do I have to be ok with my voice when I’m teaching, but I also feel compelled to publish links to podcasts, video and photos as part of this self-promotion. I think as long as I believe in my work, I can just about stand it.
I like the idea of doing little hops during a lecture. I bet it keeps students alert.
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You know, the self-promotion piece is new for me. Like, I never really started focusing on it, until now! …and I am learning so much as I go along! I think you are exactly right, though. What’s part of us is part of us, and that won’t go away – well, if it did, it wouldn’t be who we are, anymore – or, I don’t think it would be as authentic, I suppose? But yes… not sure if the hops keep students alert, but I think all the things I had them do certainly kept them thinking. ^.^
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This was a good post, not just for educators, but anyone. For example, I worked in sales selling advertising. I was presented with the same issues years ago when I started out. I was very self conscious. However, as I sold ads I gained confidence and when I didn’t sell an add I learned to not take it personaly. It takes practice to brush of negative comments and instead focus on the positive ones and the people whose lives you have made a difference in. Some of my best clients became my friends. So… I would say, “Turn things around in your mind. When someone says your voice is different BE PROUD, because that means you are memorable! As you mentioned, if you hop when you talk, it means you have GREAT ENERGY and PASSION for what you are teaching.” Basically, if someone were to comment to me, I would just say, “We all have our style, and this is mine.” Turn it around, who are the people we most enjoy listening to or seeing? Usually, it’s people with their own style and confidence in themselves. GREAT post! I think we ALL go through this and conquer our fears and embrace being different… OR being “the nerd!” I am sure you are an excellent educator.
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I LOVE that advice, of turning things around in your mind! For me, I think I am just learning how to do this, and so it takes deliberate practice for me. I guess, it’s learning how to grow into oneself, and being proud of it! Thank you for your comment, and the wonderfully positive message!!!! I am turning around and around the ideas that you’ve just added.
You sound like not only do you turn things around in your mind, but once you do that, EVERYTHING turns around. How amazing!
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Yes, you have to practice. I was initially shy in sales, but I had to make the sale, so I had to force myself to “believe” in myself and I learned that not everyone would like my sales pitch or my personal style. I learned NOT to let this bother me, because I don’t like everyone’s style either… nothing personal, but I have my preferences. There is that phrase, “OWN IT!” Those should be your words for 2016, owning your style, your teaching techniques, ALL of it! Every day you should say to yourself, “Wow, I’m good.” This is not to be conceited, it’s to train yoruself to FOCUS on the postive and NOT let negative comments hurt you… they should roll of your back. I had an Italian restaurant as one of my clients. He was super nice, gave me lunch and a latte when I would visit him, I always felt happy when I was there. So, when I went to a client who was “negative,” and my spirits were down, I would think… “HEY, I am going to visit Antonio.” Being with Italians, who talked, laughed, etc. suddenly I forgot the negative comments and I was back to feeling good. REMEMBER, “one more NO, brings you closer to a YES.” This is sales talk, but it works for YOU TOO meaning one negative comments brings you closer to a positive comment. My Italian mother ALWAYS taught us to turn a negative to a positive. If you do that, you will ALWAYS be happy! Sometimes peopel are having a bad day and might take it out on you, or maybe they are envious, WHO KNOWS, they key is feeling like you are making a difference in people’s lives. My major was in Education. I am excited to hear you are teaching. YOU GO GIRL!
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“Own it!” Aaaah, words I’ve told my students! …and now, thanks to you, there is even more meaning to those words. You should TOTALLY make a blog post of this – you have such wonderful, insightful things to say!!! And, if you don’t mind, I’ll borrow a few stars from your comments. They’re precious, and I can use them in my teaching!!! Happy you were in Education! You’re teaching even now, as we speak! WOO!!!
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Of course, feel free to pass on stories and words of wisdom to your students. One day they will pass the same words on… isn’t that how the world works. Like we were taught at Miss Porter’s School, each and every one of us is meant to do GREAT things in life, whatever it might be, it WILL BE GREAT!
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Yes. This is very true!!! Gosh, thanks to the Internet, I now have students that are in their thirties… with children. …and they post things on my Facebook wall. I even have some that say, “Thanks to you, I will never look at a rootbeer float without thinking about the science behind them…” and other things. Some have become teachers, and biologists… and I shall. I’ll keep collecting stories, and passing them on. We never stop learning, and we never stop teaching. ^.^
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Oh my gosh. You just addressed something I needed to hear. I also looked at that prompt, but couldn’t figure out a good post. You nailed the prompt AND gave me some timely wisdom. Thank you.
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Karen, whenever I drop into your blog, you have nuggets of info that I take away, as well. So glad that I could return the favor. ^.^
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I am so glad! yay, go us!
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